Not sure how true the following Q&A is, but it is said to have been taken from genuine stereotypical questions asked of an Australian government department by overseas tourists.
One thing I know is true … the answers are pure Aussie. Enjoy!
from hostelbookers.com blog
- The world asks …Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) … and the Aussie answers – We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
- The world asks …Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)… and the Aussie answers – Depends how much you’ve been drinking
- The world asks …I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)… and the Aussie answers – Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, but take lots of water
- The world asks …Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)… and the Aussie answers – So its true what they say about Swedes.
- The world asks …It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)… and the Aussie answers – Let’s not touch this one.
- The world asks …Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)… and the Aussie answers – What did your last slave die of?
- The world asks …Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)… and the Aussie answers – A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus- tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does not … oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
- The world asks …Which direction is North in Australia? … and the Aussie answers – Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
- Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) … and the Aussie answers – Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
- Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA) … and the Aussie answers – Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
- The world asks …Do you have perfume in Australia? (France) A: No, WE don’t stink.
- The world asks …I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia (USA) … and the Aussie answers– Anywhere a significant numbers of Americans gather.
- The world asks …Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK) … and the Aussie answers – You are a British politician, right?
- The world asks …Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy). … and the Aussie answers – Yes, gay nightclubs.
- The world asks …Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) … and the Aussie answers – Only at Christmas.
- The world asks …Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany) … and the Aussie answers – No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers and milk is illegal.
- The world asks …Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum (USA). … and the Aussie answers – Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
- The world asks …I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA) … and the Aussie answers – Sure, but you will still have to pay her by the hour.
- The world asks …Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) … and the Aussie answers – Yes, but you may have to learn it first.
Thanks to Peter Baskerville , Australian Citizen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cliff Chapman
www.traveljunkies.com
Get a free listing in traveljunkies for your travel or activities business!
Follow
